Random Funny Quotes

So I got bored today and looked up funny quotes. While searching through page after page of quotes about the meaning of life, religion, love, ect., I founf a MUCH more entertaining page of quotes from a 4-year-old written by his mother. Here are the best ones:
"Something is wrong with him. Let's give him back to God."-of his baby brother when he won't stop crying

"When I grow up, I want to be a caveman, a scientist, and a guy who works at the donut shop so I can eat donuts."

"No! I just want to be in Barack Obama's family when I grow up!"-when told he can even be the president when he grows up

"I feel SO ALIVE!!"-after trying Nerds for the first time

"When I grow up, I will have a fancy wife named FooFoo and she'll live in my mobile home!"-my personal favorite (I almost fell out of my chair laughing after reading this one)

Movie Quotes:
"How do you know my dimwitted inexperience isn't really a subtle form of manipulation used to lower people's expectations, thereby enhancing my ability maneuver myself within any given situation?" -Scream 2

"Evil will always prevail, because good is dumb." -Spaceballs

"A loser?! Who are you calling a loser? What if I rip off one of your antennas and throw it across the yard, who's the loser then?" -Mulan

"Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts." -Naked Gun 2 1/2

"Who knows where thoughts come from! They just appear!" -Empire Records

"Yeah, I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know. I wasn't really listening." -Dumb and Dumber

"The key here is, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses." -Love and Death

"Do you prefer fashion victim or enseblelly challenged?" -Clueless

(Forrest Gump refering to Apple Computers) "He got me invested in some kinda fruit company." -Forrest Gump

Alrighty y'all, I hope you enjoyed these, because I certainly enjoyed looking for them! Leave a comment about your own favorite quotes, if you want. Now I'm off to find a nice place to read while I watch the rain that I love. Peace, love, and all that junk.
-Megs